This is our blog dedicated to the loss of our fifth and last child, Ethan, who was two months and three days old when he suddenly passed away.  The blog’s name is a reference to a line in a song by Andrew Peterson, Dancing in the Minefields, a song about the journey of marriage.  The line in the song says:

“We bear the light of of the Son of Man, so there’s nothing left to fear.

So I will walk with you in the Shadowlands, til the shadows disappear.

Peterson’s reference to “Shadowlands” hearkens to C.S. Lewis’s term in the title of the final chapter of The Last Battle, the concluding book in the Chronicles of Narnia series.  It refers to the idea that this world in which we live is but a shadow of the one to which we truly belong.

The blog title is meant to convey an emotional and spiritual picture of our experience since that dark day Ethan left us.  For us, who cradled and cared for Ethan, we are walking the rest of our earthly lives — together — in the shadow of his death.  Here we write thoughts and experiences connected in some way to Ethan and his loss.

Of course, shadows cannot exist without light, and ultimately our sincere hope is that what we share points to “the light of the world.”  (John 8:12).  As such, this space is about the walk we are taking until the day the shadows will indeed disappear and we will see our Ethan again.